Should I stay in New York or go back home?

Question

I've always dreamed of living in New York and finally came in May. Because I needed the money, I took a job as a receptionist and verbally promised I'd stay at the company a year. But, I desperately want to go back to my hometown in the South. I've met some good people and seen things that I wouldn't have gotten to see otherwise, but I'm not happy living here. I realize that this is not where I belong. I am planning to go home in November to visit my family, but now I'm thinking of staying there. Only I worry about how my employer will react at my not staying a year and I worry how this will affect me with other employers. I want to make good on my promise, but I truly don't like living in New York and I can't imagine living here much longer. I'm wondering...should I stay in New York and tough it out or go back home and start over?

Answer 1

Life is too short to stay somewhere and be miserable. It's obvious that you can not be there and be happy. I would have a serious talk with your boss, I highly doubt that person will be a jerk to you, because they don't want someone representing their job that is unhappy. I'm sure he or she will be very understanding and give you a good recommendation. I also think that you can definitely get a job anywhere that makes you happy so don't even worry about that. Best of luck to you. Hope it works out whatever you choose to do!

Answer 2

In a way, lucky you. I visited New York a year ago and loved it.



But of course you should not stay if you are unhappy and would rather return home.



You say you only verbally agreed to stay with your employer for a year. If this is the case and you're sure you didn't sign a legal and binding contract then you have no problems.



Is your employer sympathetic? Could you not discuss with him/her how unhappy you are? If you can expect a good response, then I should go along this route as they are far less likely to give you a bad reference if you have been open and honest. If not, then I would just follow your heart and return home anyway. Life's too short to be unhappy and being with your family and friends is far more important than all of the money or jobs in the world.



You sound like a person of integrity. I wish you well in the future for whatever you decide.

Answer 3

Hi!

Employers will not hold it against you IF you are honest about your motivation AND you given them enough time to find a replacement. As a receptionist, you will find that there are a hundred people lined up for your job because it is an entry level job. Two weeks notice is standard for non-specialised jobs.



Go to your personnel department, explain that you want to return to your hometown and the date that you expect to leave. This way they have all the time they need. Beware however, if you give them notice very far in advance, they may find a new person right away, leaving you without a job for the next two months. If you have a date in mind and let your employer know two or three weeks before that date.



best wishes!

Answer 4

Read immediately Somerset Maugham's Novel

"RAZOR'S EDGE " or rent the movie in which my

friend Tyrone Power played the leading role ----

You will need it as a Buffer for the many answers

you will get that tell you to stay in New York

where you will find ultimate Happiness at the

end of the Rainbow in this Great City !



It is a great exciting City ---if you are rich and can

afford the Plays on Broadway --the Museums

the Opera and can stay home when there's

steam and ice on the streets and read the

Sunday Times and walk down 5th Ave before

returning to your room at the Plaza !



There is excitement and wonderful living in the

small towns in Kentucky ,or Montana or

Washungton State ot Arizona ----I made a living

as an actor in NYC--in London and lived and

worked in Casablanca, Naples ,Iran, China and

elsewhere----it makes no difference where you

are if you have good health and a loving companion--



Somerset Maugham's young man went on a Spiritual quest

all over the world ---ended up with a belief in the Vedanta

the Indian philosophical system---being at one with the

Absolute---highly educated--a taxi driver--and happy--

and the books Character was taken from life ---in

Maugham's own words ...



Receptionists jobs are the easiest to fill---thank your

boss and try another situation in another place---and

remember that "Life is just a Bowl of Cherries" and

Cherries are in blossom in lots of places---even Japan--

where I am at present with my lovely wife .

Answer 5

Verbal promises aren't legally binding. But if they paid for moving you, it might be an issue.



Homesickness isn't a good reason to move back though. You're going through the motions of seeing what the place is really like on a day to day level. Yes it's high paced, but it's also full of people from everywhere else.



If you know you're good at what you do, you can line something else up and work somewhere else, but you have to look at what you're giving up, if anything.



I would give it the year unless my job performance was seriously impacted by it.



You have to think about them as a job reference.



Starting over is if you change a career path, not moving to another place doing the same type of work.

Answer 6

Hi. you said:



"I worry about how my employer will react at my not staying a year and I worry how this will affect me with other employers"



If you decide to leave, be honest with your employer and tell them the reason, then give them a week or two notice, and you should be fine.



That said, nyc is an awesome place and I love it there. But it can also be very gruelling, so I understand where you're coming from.



I strongly advise you not to make a non-binding promise more important than your personal happiness level.



Good luck!!!

Answer 7

Tough it out. If you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere; if you stay in New york, you will learn street sense than you would living in a small town in the south. Get out of your comfort zone. Visit back home, but I would stick it out living in New York.

I always have a saying, "Driving in New York (all 5 boroughs) is only for the strong, not for the weak. In other words, the strong make it, the weak do not. If you do not like to be looked as weak, tough it out. You won't regret it.

FYI, I have never lived in the area, but developed street sense on each visit I would never developed in Memphis; same goes for driving. I drove in Memphis for 12 years, but learned real driving in New York at age 28.

Answer 8

I say go home if you dont like it there... your employer can find a new receptionist. You don't have to use them as a reference when applying at a new job if you don't want. You cant always makes everyone happy. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. Think about it this way... they said they want you there for at least a year, however, if things weren't working out on their end, do you think they would even think twice about letting you go? No, they'd fire you and find someone else... so screw it! Go home and be happy!

Answer 9

If I were in your situation right now, I would go back to where I belong. Like you said that you are not happy living there so why stick to somewhere that does not make you happy? I know there is money there in NY, but money won't make you happy! Don't worry about your future employer, as long as you give them an honest answer on your interview why'd you leave, they would understand! Trust me! It is your happiness that matters! Everyone knows that it's hard to start over, everyone goes through it as long as you believe in yourself. Good luck!

Answer 10

tough it out...it'll only make you stronger. you're going to have to learn that life isn't a bowl for cherries all the time. if you can live a year in a place you don't like and make the best of your situation it will show you have the will power and motivation to overcome problems and objections to you employers and to your family and friends.



i know its hard now, but you did make a promise to your employer....it shows good work ethic not to just throw in the towel when the going gets rough. and NEway, you've ONLY been there for a few months, you are just home sick and scared. If you stick it out I can guarantee you will not move in a year and will learn to love NYC. It's a really cool place.



Take this from someone who was born and raised till 12 in a small town in PA , moved to Tampa Bay Area, FL lived there till 20, moved to Chicago by herself not knowing anyone at 20 absolutely came to love the city (the first year was the roughest) lived there for 5 yrs and now live in Milwaukee, WI. Now, talk about a place I don't like...I've been here for 2 yrs...really dislike the city and the ppl but i'm here for the job and it looks really good on the resume. But i told myself I would take this job for 5 yrs to learn the ropes and am looking to move back to Chicagoland after that. So I'm sticking it out in a place a really don't like for the betterment of my future...it's making me a stronger person. And you know I've come to enjoy some parts about WI...like in the fall..absolutely beautiful in the countryside...and i've met this great guy..i actually think he maybe the one. he's a former military guy so he's not adverse to moving to another place.



Good Luck...and you'll learn to love NYC once u r there after a year. It's fun and exciting...but remember you made a promise to your employer so the best thing to do is suck it up and make the best of a bad situation. First thing you do...Find a weekend routine...something you enjoy to do in the city. Like say...go to The Museum of Natural History or The Met, or a Walk in Central part...or (and I love doing this NYC) ppl watch in the subway or a walk in Soho, Little Italy, or one of my other fav's is Friday at 5PM Wall Street..so cool. Then you'll have one thing you can fall back on in when you get homesick that brings you joy in a city that has so little to you. NYC is a great place...u just have look for it.

Answer 11

Plan to go back at Thanksgiving and stay. Give your boss plenty of notice, say November 1st. That's three weeks. You need to do what's right for you. That's why it is "at will" employment. If you didn't sign a contract, you don't have to stay.

Answer 12

i think of it easily relies upon on your concern now. How is your profession going the place you're? Love existence, etc, etc.... i'm going to be undemanding. A city is a city. yet manhattan city is yet another animal and can be quite overwhelming. in case you have under no circumstances been there previously, i could definately pass and verify issues out first. See in case you're able to prefer to grant it a gamble.

Answer 13

Try to find a job back home. Then go back. Be up-front with everybody at that time, tell them you are homesick.



Do it after you visit, look for work when you visit.

Answer 14

sit down with your employer and explain to him that you're miserable here and tell him you're going to leave, but you'll stay on the job until he fiends another receptionist, it wont take long, believe me. so go home and relax,but give your boss the courtesy of staying until he finds someone else. hope this helps, good luck.

Answer 15

Stay in New York!

Answer 16

NY isn't for everyone. Ever hear of the saying "if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere", I guess you understand it more than most.



It's tough making it in NY, but if you can, you can make it anywhere.



You have to look inside yourself, do you have it. Some do, some don't.

Answer 17

i dont understand,hy would you want to live in the south and leave new york-live life fast and hard-have no regrets,why live a boring life when you could live in one of the worlds greatest cities,all the lights and action-live live to the fullest and be happy with what you got,if you dont want to stay in newyork thabn nobody is stopping you-go home if thats what makes you happy-or you could stay the year than go home,and who knows you might change your mind

Answer 18

i say you stay in New York and tough it out, you need to stick with your promises

you'll be back in a year so finish your year up and go back home

Answer 19

It's just a receptionnist job, they can easily replace you. Life is too short, leave NY!!

Answer 20

i say you go home

happiness is most important

theres no point in having a job and being unhappy

if you are truly unhappy, you're just wasting your time

Answer 21

tell them yuor quiting today and storm out. then, youll never see them agian so it wont matter.

Answer 22

tough it out.

Answer 23

try explaining this to your boss?

Answer 24

go back! we dont want u here anyway!!